Once, many moons ago, when I was a young print slug in the bustling desert suburb of Redlands, CA, I wrote a column in response to a minor local political controversy. A local city attorney issued a broad opinion about Government Code §1096, prohibiting elected officials from having direct or indirect financial benefit from doing business with their city.
I forwarded the following immodest proposal as a joke: A new state Fair Political Practices Commission form for graft. You know, "please state kickbacks given, kickbacks received, bribes over $10,000, bribes under $10,000..."
So perhaps it is serendipitous that I came across a clip of that old column the other day before I saw this (of course it's from South Carolina):
Chapter 29, Section 23 of the South Carolina code requires anyone who intends to overthrow the American government to file a form and register with the state for $5. The Subversive Agent form is among the funnier government documents currently available, the nationwide vitriol notwithstanding.
Talk about things that make you say "huh?!"
I learned about this from Neil Gaiman's Twitter feed. How he found out about it, I am not sure. But I'm here to tell you, the jokes just write themselves. Especially the whole $5 registration fee.
Here's my question: I would really like to know if some hillbilly militia type wandered in to the state office building in Columbia with his form filled out (you can actually fill it out online in the .pdf), saying "Howdy, I'd like to overthrow the Zionist Controlled One World Guvmn't..."
"Thank you, that will be $5 please..."
"Five Dollars?! That's guvmn't tyranny! Ah ain't a payin' no $5!"
"Well, I'm sorry sir, but this isn't some hippy Yankee state like Maryland. We have laws here. And the law says if you want to overthrow the guvmn't you have to pay your $5 like everyone else..."
Yeah, we could riff like that for days...
But what if you go ahead with your revolution without paying your $5? Here's your punchline:
Section 23-29-90 Penalties:
Any organization or person who violates any of the provisions of this chapter shall, upon conviction thereof, be punished by a fine of not more than twenty-five thousand dollars or imprisonment for not more than ten years, or by both fine and imprisonment.
Talk about people unclear on the concept...
mojo sends
