Competition for "Most-Hated-Human-in-America" heated up today, even as frontrunner, BP CEO Tony Hayward had to dive for cover under the witness table during his hearing before the House Energy and Commerce Committee in a hail of derision, sarcasm and prosecutorial questioning from the members.
Hayward was doing his level best to maintain his coveted Most-Hated status, refusing to answer questions, pleading ignorance and generally being as obfuscating and frustrating as possible.
But he didn't count on Rep. Joe Barton of Planet Texas. Now, being from Texas, where offensiveness is considered a birthright, Barton was not going to simply let the challenge go unanswered.
In a move of ignorance and audacity not seen since "Mission Accomplished" (product of another proud Texan) Joe Barton, actually pulled his size 23 Texas testicles out of his pants, slammed them on the table and said:
I am ashamed of what happened at the White House yesterday. I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would consider a shakedown, in this case a $20 billion shakedown.
The attorney general of the United States, who is legitimately conducting a criminal investigation and has every right to do so to protect the interests of the American people, [is] participating in what amounts to a $20 billion slush fund that's unprecedented in our nation's history, that's got no legal standing, and which sets, I think, a terrible precedent for the future."
I apologize. I do not want to live in a country where any time a citizen or a corporation does something that is legitimately wrong is subject to some sort of political pressure that is -- again, in my words, amounts to a shakedown. So I apologize.
So let me get this straight... The White House, acting at the wishes of nearly everyone involved in the Gulf Oil Spill tragedy, gets BP to agree to a compensation fund for the people who are losing their livelihoods, is now the moral equivalent of an eight-year-old school yard bully beating up kids for lunch money, or some mob numbers-runner skimming the till for a "retirement fund..."
Are you freekin' kidding me? I mean, the BP Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg took a legit swing at the title yesterday with his "small people" comment in the wake of the West Wing meeting, but judges quickly disqualified him due to English being his second language.
In spite of being from Texas, Barton is considered to be a native English speaker, and so his remarks have been judged as a qualified entry.
So, Tony, you got game... no doubt about that... but did you honestly think you'd just waltz into the committee chamber and snatch the title from the kings of tone deaf political rhetoric?
Hell no, Tony! Pay attention, let Joe show ya how it's done...
mojo sends
