From a plot so surreal, only a doofus like Dana Rohrabacher could do it justice in a screenplay...
California construction worker Gary Brooks Faulkner, 52, is arrested in northwest Pakistan – arguably one of the most dangerous places on earth – with a 40-inch sword, handgun, night vision gear, a little hash and some evangelical Christian literature.
What was he doing there?
Well, Capt. Willard-like, it seems that Faulkner undertook his own trip "up the river" to kill Osama bin Laden.
Think Apocaplypse Now meets The Ten Commandments. "Let my Osama go, that I may lop off his towel beswathéd dome!"
When laughingly questioned about his personal quest for the head of OBL, Faulkner apparently told his captors to fear not because God was with him and that he would be allowed to succeed.
You know... I want to snark here... but honestly... words fail me. I can see some ISI agent going "huh... here's something you don't see everyday..."
Now sure, a $50 million bounty on your head will make you a pretty popular guy no matter where you live, and the world's would-be Boba Fetts have flocked to that corner of Pakistan like moths to 220 volt-charged metal grate covering a beautiful blue light.
That in itself has probably caused no end of headaches for local security, ISI and others in the government there, in spite of their repeated insistence that OBL has moved and left no forwarding address.
But to have some Christian Ninja wannabee (who by the way managed to ditch his security detail for a full 10 days) show up on your border looking like he wants to reenact the Battle of Acre with a modern day Saladin... that's when it's time to close the airport!
mojo sends